Who Turned The Lights Off?
It felt like somebody turned the lights off.
I was in a dark spot.
Why am I here?
These paralyzing thoughts swam through my head, over and over as I tried to navigate a 3.1-mile open water swim.
I knew at some point the cold and dark water would consume me. I was brand new to open water swimming. I had less than three months under my belt. My expectations were simple…. finish the race. Yet, my mind and body pulled with the current. The feeling of not belonging overtook me. It soaked into my skin and sank my soul.
Before the race, my friend offered up some advice. He said “ during your race, you are going to experience a couple of dark spots, this feeling will make you want to quit. Realize that the feeling is only temporary. Make sure you visualize the negative feeling leaving you like the outgoing tide.
“As long as you are mindful of the feeling, you will be fine.”
I kept my friend’s words close to my heart while trying to get the feeling of doom to drift away. I kept thinking to myself, who turned the lights off?
As the words crossed my mind, I felt the wind and current shift. It was this break that made the gut-wrenching sensation perish.
My self-talk went back to “One stroke at a time.”
I finished the race. It was exhausting. But I finished.
And I was more proud of the realization that came to me after the race, than the actual race.
Each day we get confronted with ugly dark spots. These feelings make us want to quit. It’s all negative self-talk that keeps us in limbo. The lights go off and we are in the dark!
The negative mindset tells us…..
“ I work too much.”
“ I don’t have time.”
“ I am not good enough.”
These self-doubts make us feel trapped in a dark room. We battle and fight the darkness instead of embracing it. Once you recognize that the dark is part of the light, then you can sidestep any emotional state. But you have to be conscious of it, and you must come to the realization that the feeling will go away. My favorite method for moving forward is using daily gratitude.
So the next time you set adrift. Realize that the dark is there to help you see the light. We need both to get by.
