“Can you believe that venue owner expects us to fill the place? They don’t even market their own shows!”

“That stage is so old, I wish they would replace it.”

“I am tired of that musician canceling on us!”

Complaining.

Every single one of us does it. Some more than others. I’ll be the first person to tell you that I am horrible. I should have received some type of award for my past complaints. I once complained about my workout!  How could one find something to complain about while exercising? Well, I did.

The industries I am submerged in are well versed in complaining. This mindset has rubbed off on me over the years. In the past, it was a way of life that took me nowhere!

It was time to move onward. 

A while ago I was conversing with a good friend. We talked for about ten minutes. Our conversation was a little bit of catching up and a lot about our current situations. He asked me about my business, and I proceeded to fill him in with some troubles I was encountering. From there I uttered many complaints. My good friend did what any good friend would do. He listened and encouraged me to hang in there. After the phone call ended. I realized that I didn’t even get to tell my friend about my kids and their accomplishments.

How could I have forgotten to tell him about this? I failed because my time and thought process got derailed by complaining.

Damn, this upset me! How could I fix this problem?

I needed numbers, I wanted to see firsthand how bad I was!

For the rest of the day, I spent time thinking of remedies. I recalled a conversation with a co-worker. My co-worker had challenged me to count how many times I complained throughout a shift. To my astonishment, it was a high number. It made me sick to my stomach. Have you ever tracked your bad habits? If so how did it make you feel? To understand the depth of the feeling, try journaling about it. To get our days in order we must keep notes and track all aspects. This can be a tedious exercise but if we want to improve we have to know where and what our energy is spent on.

Here are some simple steps that I use and that can be helpful.

• Track how often you complain by keeping a tally. This will open your eyes up to your train of thought.
• When you have a problem or an issue with someone, instead of complaining about him or her, try talking to them. Or journaling about the process. When you put pen to paper magical things happen. You may even realize that it’s you and not the other person. This step will offer you a chance to move forward.
• Find your triggers and avoid them.
• Distance yourself from chronic complainers. You don’t want to take on their energy or thought process. You are only as good as the 5 people you spend the most time with.
• When someone complains, start asking questions?  I try to change the conversation or ask in-depth questions… so that I can avoid getting caught in the complaint trap.
• Pause. This will help you think and will force you to respond instead of reacting
• See obstacles as opportunities.
• Keep a gratitude journal, this will help you focus on the positives and not the negative.
• Take the 30-day challenge with me, and see how your life improves by not complaining. Add your comments to this blog so we can all grow together.

Accomplishing goals is much easier when you have someone to hold you accountable.